The Most Taboo Word Thrown Around In Society These Days.

So many times nowadays, advice is given from parents to children. Such as “make sure you get good grades so you can get into a good university and land a good job” or other garbage like “just ignore the bullies and they’ll stop.”

I know, right? Like you can’t go to trade school and join the union? Or suckerpunch the bully that not only will stop bullying you, but will communicate to other would-be bullies to fuck off.

But there’s a piece of advice that is tossed around freely. And it gets taken to heart, but I’m here to tell you that it’s going to eat at valuable time on the clock for you.

The piece of advice?

“Never settle for anything.”

Put your guillotine away

Now before you eviscerate me for that, let’s take a deep dive into never settling. What does it really mean? I know mothers pass it down to their daughters, fathers to their sons, and guidance counselors to their valedictorians. But then what? What if life happens?

Never settling can get in the way of attaining happiness. How will you know when it’s time to not settle? Do you have a certain benchmark of quality that you are going after? In work, relationships, competition, etc., does never settling mean to always be dissatisfied with what you have? Are you more inclined to say “NEXT!” than to see the beauty in what is staring back at you because it doesn’t meet topical criteria?

I am not saying ”Down with settling, boo!!!” I am saying that you really have to do an audit of what it means to never settle, because what is at stake is your life ticking away, one minute at a time. If you’re constantly chasing the next shiny object, whatever game you’re chasing the shiny object in will eventually downgrade you whether you like it or not.

Don’t view compromise as a failure

If you’re in any arena where you’re seen as a token of value (like the world of dating), if someone likes you, do a deep dive into the motherfucker that likes you! Because if you don’t get picked, and you wind up being one of the last kids to get picked for the kickball game of life, you’re going to have a harder time. The pickier you are, the worse it’ll be for you if you are among the last picked. If you put someone in the friend zone, do an audit and see if you can stand their ass when you’re both old and wrinkly. If it turns out that you can, you’re already halfway into an amazing story. Are they perfectly imperfect? Do they have hobbies that keep their head and heart in the right place? Give them a shot because eventually, someone else will and when they have a baby with that unknown person in the future, you’ll wonder why they blocked you from seeing the baby’s pictures on social media.

What “Never Settling” really should mean

The better definition of what it means to not settle should be to not accept mistreatment from others. Don’t settle for people who violate your core values. Don’t give up on something worthwhile just because it’s hard. Don’t settle for anyone that mistreats others. Don’t sacrifice your fundamental needs for temporary comfort or opinions of others.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

If you look at any and all situations like they were an onion, you can always peel away at the layers of the onion. The more you delve into something, the higher the chances there are to accidentally fall ass backwards into happiness. One of the true aspects of life none of us are exempt from is the random chance of something paying off for us. In relationships, in work, and everything in between, there is a huge opportunity for happiness everywhere you look. Nothing is perfect, and waiting around for perfection will mean you pass up on something that was good enough. Those who live in ivory towers will live and die up in the ivory tower, with a leg up on everyone else on resentment and bitterness.

How to be grateful for what you’re settling for

It’s easy. Just get rid of the word “settle” and replace it with “choosing.” You’re not settling for an apartment, you’re choosing something that fits your needs. Fuck settling for your job, you’re choosing stability while aiming toward your goals. Settling in relationships? No, you’re choosing someone whose core values match yours.

You’re in control of it all. Perfect is the enemy of good, so fuck perfect. Every choice you make means you say “fuck you” to something else. What looks like settling today might be exactly what you needed all along. Most regrets come from expecting perfection, not from making solid choices. And making a solid choice is choosing to be grateful as fuck.