Accept Yourself For The Dumpster Fire That You Are: How to Embrace Your Flaws

How many times have you doubted yourself? I’m not talking in the heat of the moment, like when a big deal is on the line. Like your team is down by 2 and they pass the ball to you so that you can score from downtown.

I’m not talking about that at all.

I’m talking about what your inner voice says to you as soon as you wake up in the morning. What does it say?

Maybe it’s time to tell your inner voice to shut the fuck up. If it has nothing good to say, it should not say anything at all. It should really shut the fuck up.

Our own inner voice is something that has been molded in however many years old you are. Sometimes, it’ll remind you of that cringe moment when all of 6th grade found out who your crush was because some dumbass kid you thought you could trust couldn’t keep his/her mouth shut. We all have those cringeworthy moments from our past.

But how do we keep them in check?

You know, the above scenario really did happen. But instead of cringing over it for decades after it happened, I should look at lit like “I trusted that motherfucker to not say anything, and his dumbass proved that he was not anyone I could trust ever again. At least I had good taste in girls back then.”

That is an active deprogramming that has to happen, that I have to do with myself. But luckily, it’s not like it takes a full lobotomy for that to happen. It’s just as simple as a change in perspective, because I chose it.

I feigned a stomach ache when it happened. It was the only way to excuse myself from eating lunch with the rest of the class, and also to regroup. I remember being 11 years old, and I was so mad. I wanted to punch the kid in the face but I also knew that it wasn’t worth it (I could have easily taken him). But the collective mind of the student body that newly knew my business - yeah they all teased me about it. But it all vanished in about a day or two because it quickly became old news.

Oftentimes, it happens that we think so much of ourselves (not in an arrogant sense) that we become insecure over what we perceive to be our flaws. Is my nose too big? Do I have a unibrow? Are my feet too big for the rest of my body? Is that rib that sticks out noticable with this shirt?

News Flash

Nobody gives a flying fuck about your flaws because everyone else is too focused on themselves to give a flying fuck.

The way you look is the way you look. You are you, and you are never going to be anyone else, for better or worse.

Think of a moment from your past that makes you cringe. It could be anything. Pick one.

Now, deploy absolute kindness over yourself. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Try to picture yourself from back then as another person, and shower them with kindness over that moment of deep self-cringe. Fucking forgive yourself for it.

Now, rinse and repeat for any other cringeworthy moment in your past.

Perfection is boring, embrace the chaos

Let’s face it, perfection without flaws is about as exciting as watching paint dry on a Facebook livestream. Your flaws? They’re the spice in the bland casserole of existence. That crippling anxiety that keeps you up at 3am? It’s not a disorder, it’s your brain’s way of telling you “sleep is for the weak, let’s cringe over all your dumb shit!”

Your inability to adult properly isn’t a failure; it’s a middle finger to societal expectations. Can’t cook to save your life? Congratulations, you’re single-handedly keeping the take-out industry afloat. You’re a motherfucking economic hero. Are you never late because you can’t bear the anxiety that comes with being late and disappointing someone else? A round of applause is in order for being the standard in punctuality and giving a fuck about other people’s time.

Keep being that dumpster fire

Let’s be honest. You most likely are NOT a dumpster fire. But what would things look like if you were, and you didn’t give one fuck about it?

The goal should be that you should not give a fuck if you are a dumpster fire or not. Once you are okay with being one and not giving a fuck about it, that’s one less thing you have to worry about. Let that grow into a carefree attitude that oozes an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

Because life is hard enough as it is. We only have limited time on this planet. Why worry about stuff that you can’t go back and change? What would your life look like if you didn’t have anything to cringe about, about yourself? I bet it would be pretty fucking awesome, and the best part about it is that you can start right now. So go ahead. Start right now. And if you’re already there? I bet the view from there is fucking amazing.